Premature ejaculation is a reality that affects far more men than one might imagine: according to a study by IFOP[1], 31% of men are thought to experience it at some point in their lives.
A little history: to better understand the issues at play today, a look at the scientific foundations is in order. In the 1960s, researchers Masters and Johnson revolutionised our understanding of human sexuality.
Their groundbreaking work revealed a physiological dynamic that had until then been largely unexplored, which we will examine in greater detail throughout this article.
The good news from their study? Ejaculatory control is not a matter of genetics or luck. It is a neuromuscular skill that can be learned and refined over time. For example, masturbation — too often reduced to a mere release — turns out to be a remarkable training ground…
In collaboration with sexologist Pierrick Fournier, we turn our attention today to premature ejaculation and the various approaches for overcoming it.
They trust us
At ONY, our customers' feedback is essential to us. Some testimonials indicate that our products have helped overcome issues related to premature ejaculation.
The Pure 2 masturbator took me by surprise. I use it mainly as a training tool, not just for pleasure. It's helped me learn to slow down and recognise the moment when I need to pause before climaxing. Honestly, it's improved both the duration and the quality of my sex life.
I bought this for my boyfriend because he tended to finish too quickly, and it was starting to frustrate us both. Honestly, I wasn't expecting a miracle, but after a few weeks of use, we noticed a real improvement. He learned to better manage his arousal and slow down when needed. The result: our sessions last longer and we both enjoy them so much more.
Is that the case for you too? Share your experience!
1) Everything you need to know about premature ejaculation and ejaculatory control
Do you also struggle with premature ejaculation? Before looking for solutions, you first need to understand what is really happening in your body. That is the first step towards taking back control of your sexual response cycle.
What does it mean to be a premature ejaculator?
From a medical standpoint, the International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM) defines premature ejaculation according to three specific criteria:
A duration of less than 1 minute
Ejaculation occurring always or nearly always before or within one minute of vaginal penetration (up to 3 minutes for the acquired form).
An inability to control oneself
An inability to delay the critical moment, and negative psychological consequences.
An impact on wellbeing
A real and measurable impact on overall wellbeing.
This last point is important. Indeed, the inability to prolong penetration is often a major source of anxiety. Still according to the IFOP survey: 63% of these men worry about it, and 20% say they suffer from it. This sexual dysfunction can also have a significant impact on a couple's relationship — an impact that men often underestimate: 30% of women who have been with a premature ejaculator say they ended a relationship for that reason, compared to only 15% of men who believe they were left for the same reason.
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What is ejaculatory control and why does it matter?
Ejaculatory control is the ability to delay ejaculation by maintaining better mastery of one's sensations and arousal during a sexual act.
In practice, this involves mastering the pelvic floor muscles, in particular the well-known pubococcygeus muscle (= the perineum).
This ejaculatory control makes it possible to prolong sexual intercourse, intensify shared pleasure, and sometimes create a deeper emotional connection with one's partner. Bearing in mind, of course, that duration is far from everything.
But ultimately, what is the ideal duration for sexual intercourse?
According to a study reported by 20 Minutes, the average duration of sexual intercourse is 5.4 minutes. It should be noted that this figure relates only to penetration (intercourse) and does not include foreplay.
A duration of between 7 and 13 minutes is generally considered satisfying, whilst intercourse lasting less than 3 minutes is often regarded as too short.
It is important to remember that everyone is different and that expectations vary from person to person.
Did you know?
Researchers distinguish four forms of premature ejaculation. Note that this classification is not shared by all specialists.
1) Primary premature ejaculation
Present from the very first sexual experiences, constant throughout life, with a very short ejaculation time. Its origin is thought to be primarily neurobiological or genetic.
2) Secondary premature ejaculation
Appears in a man who previously had control over his ejaculation, often linked to an associated condition (physical or psychological), and disappears once that condition is treated.
3) Natural premature ejaculation
Occurs occasionally depending on circumstances; it corresponds to normal and frequent variations.
4) Pseudo-premature ejaculation
Despite a normal ejaculation time, the man wrongly perceives himself as a premature ejaculator; this form is also common.
2) Masturbation as a playground and… A training ground
As American sexologists Masters and Johnson highlighted in their research, masturbation can become an ideal controlled environment for reprogramming your ejaculatory reflexes.
"Premature ejaculation can be explained by maladaptive learning or neurophysiological conditioning, often acquired through masturbation."
In reality, for many men, premature ejaculation can be explained by maladaptive learning or neurophysiological conditioning, often acquired through masturbation. Among the habits that reinforce this pattern: the systematic pursuit of a quick orgasm (reaching climax in under 2 to 3 minutes).
The systematic watching of pornographic videos also poses a problem: this dopaminergic overstimulation conditions your brain to trigger the ejaculatory reflex prematurely, short-circuiting the plateau phase that is nevertheless essential for endurance.
The benefits of masturbation
Practised mindfully, masturbation offers considerable therapeutic benefits. First, it allows for repetition without the performance pressure inherent in partnered sex. This reassuring space makes it easier to identify the phases of arousal on a subjective scale (from 1 to 10, for example). By focusing on your physical sensations, you develop greater bodily awareness and learn to decode the early signals that precede ejaculation.
Recognised training techniques
Clinical research has validated several behavioural protocols. These pioneering methods, still drawn from the work of Masters & Johnson, remain absolute references today:
1) The stop-start method
You stimulate your penis until you reach a level of arousal (7/10, for example), then you stop all stimulation until it subsides (say, 3/10), before starting again.
2) The squeeze technique
Apply firm pressure to the base of the glans for 3 to 5 seconds when the urge to ejaculate becomes imminent. Arousal subsides immediately.
3) Perceiving the point of no return
The aim is to bring yourself as close as possible to the ejaculatory inevitability threshold in order to learn to push it back progressively over the weeks.
Let's summarise these techniques in the form of a table:
Sexual response phase |
Arousal level (1–10) |
Recommended action during training |
Initial arousal |
1 to 4 |
Continuous and slow stimulation |
Plateau |
5 to 7 |
Maintaining moderate stimulation |
Pre-orgasmic |
8 to 9 |
Applying the stop-start or squeeze technique |
Point of no return |
10 |
Inevitable ejaculation (to be avoided during training) |
3) Male masturbators: an emerging therapeutic tool?
Did you know? Research in sexology is increasingly validating the use of sex toys to improve ejaculatory control. Clinical studies, including those conducted with the Men's Training Cup device, show that the use of specialised masturbators can improve your intra-vaginal ejaculatory latency time — that is, the time elapsed between the start of vaginal penetration and the moment of ejaculation.
Benefits of the therapeutic use of a masturbator
The therapeutic use of a male masturbator, more commonly known as a pocket pussy, offers numerous benefits.
The internal texture replicates a stimulation close to the reality of sexual intercourse, with variations in pressure that are impossible to replicate manually with the hand alone.
Approaching the point of no return
Using a masturbator helps you get accustomed to intense sensations without reaching the point of no return.
The ability to slow down arousal
With a masturbator, you can learn to regulate your breathing and release tension in your pelvic floor whilst keeping the device in place.
Tolerance to high levels of stimulation
A masturbator helps to progressively desensitise your glans, an area rich in several thousand nerve endings.
The sexologist's opinion
Pierrick Fournier
Sexologist – Couples therapist
The masturbator is not limited to a simple pleasure device: it can also serve as an effective training tool. By using a masturbator, you accustom your brain to intense stimuli in a completely safe environment. In other words, by regularly using a masturbator that replicates the sensations of sexual intercourse, you train both your body and your brain to better manage those sensations.
4) A tool, not always a miracle solution
Sex toys are excellent tools for improvement, but they should be part of a holistic approach to your sexual health.
Premature ejaculation is a multifactorial condition. Training with a pocket pussy is very often beneficial, but it does not always resolve psychological blocks.
Among the common causes: performance anxiety (the fear of disappointing your partner), sexual hypervigilance (being so focused on your erection that you lose control of it), relational factors (unresolved conflicts sometimes require the intervention of a couples therapist), or, as previously explained, poor masturbation habits developed early on — quick and rushed — which can condition both your body and your brain.
Caution: addiction to masturbation or to a sex toy
Finally, a word of caution about the risk of developing a dependency on masturbation or the use of a sex toy. Compulsive use — characterised by an uncontrollable urge or an inability to feel pleasure during conventional penetration — should be a warning sign.
When should you consult a professional?
The advice is straightforward: if you suspect an addiction and/or if the issues persist, it is always recommended to consult a doctor, a urologist, or a sexologist. Nothing replaces the opinion of a healthcare professional.
The editorial team
An opinion, a reaction, would you like to share your experience? Get in touch!
Julie from ONY
I'm Julie, welcome to the ONY blog! A passionate writer, I've been writing about sexuality for several years. I love experimenting, testing, and exploring desire in all its forms. My articles are inspired mainly by my own experiences and conversations from everyday life. Curious by nature, I love it when words arouse as much as pleasure does....
[1] Ifop study for Charles.co conducted via self-administered online questionnaire from 19 to 24 April 2019, among a sample of 1,957 individuals from the French male population aged 18 and over residing in metropolitan France.
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