Male fantasies: what men really dream about

A sexual fantasy is defined as a mental representation — often scripted and idealised — that stimulates desire and arousal. According to a recent survey[2] conducted in clinical psychology, nearly 60% of men believe that acting on their fantasies is necessary for a fulfilling sex life.

These scenarios, which can sometimes seem strange or unusual, unfold in the mind and draw on the unconscious to free the libido.

So why do men have fantasies?

A sex therapist will tell you that these mental images are not necessarily desires to be acted upon in real life. They act more like pressure-release valves that feed sexual appetite and physiologically prepare the body before being intimate with a partner.

This list of male fantasies is interesting to explore, but not everything should be taken at face value. Many of these desires remain highly theoretical: they describe a practice, but most are difficult to act on in everyday life. Ultimately, the majority of these fantasies remain fairly out of reach — more dreamt about than actually experienced.

Now ONY steps in with our top 10 male fantasies that are far more accessible in your everyday life!

The idea of having multiple partners remains a classic among male fantasies. Whether it's a threesome, an orgy or a swinging evening, around 36% of men dream of making this desire a reality.

The presence of multiple participants multiplies visual and tactile stimuli. Note: most men prefer to share this experience with several women rather than with other men.

Boss and assistant, teacher and student, spy and target… the thrill of dominating or being dominated is incredibly powerful. This need to control or surrender intensely fuels desire.

For those who want to prolong the pleasure and last as long as they wish during these domination games, the Pulse One by ONY becomes a precious ally.

Do you share this fantasy with the 53% of men surveyed in the IPSOS study?

This fantasy isn't simply about "doing it outdoors" or playing the exhibitionist. What truly appeals is above all the feeling of freedom and the pleasure of being in a beautiful, calming environment far from everyday life. Nature provides a setting that inspires letting go and full immersion, far from the stress that a public place might generate.

Moreover, still according to the IFOP survey[1], the fear of being seen is for the majority a genuine barrier rather than a source of excitement. While 70% of men (60% of women) fantasise about sex in a car, that figure drops to 27% (15% for women) when it involves a traffic jam.

Watching your partner or being watched intensely stimulates the visual cortex. Many men admit to an attraction for these visual practices, whether it's seeing their partner undressed or putting themselves on display.

Imagining oneself with an unknown woman or fantasising about infidelity allows one to taste the thrill of the forbidden. This desire for infidelity even seems to intensify in summer: according to an IFOP study[1], 34% of men in relationships say they feel a stronger urge to change partners during the summer season.

Role-play helps lift inhibitions. And yes, a huge number of couples spice up their intimate lives by incorporating costumes (nurse, policewoman...)... A true therapy through play!

Making love in unusual places generates an adrenaline rush linked to the fear of being caught. This transgression of social norms raises the heart rate by 20 to 30 beats per minute, intensifying the orgasm.

The sensuality of an erotic massage that slides into a sexual act sometimes responds to a deep need for relaxation. Tactile stimulation melts away stress and creates the ideal conditions for pleasure...

The idea of swapping partners for an evening, under the complicit gaze of other couples, plays on a blend of curiosity, freedom and the forbidden… enough to set the imagination and adrenaline racing?

According to the IPSOS study, 11% of men say they have this fantasy...

Introducing a sex toy during intimacy is a great way to spice things up. According to an IFOP survey[3], 67% of French men (compared to 65% of French women) believe that using a sex toy contributes to their sexual well-being.

Moving from fantasy to reality requires preparation, mutual trust and a thorough understanding of each other's expectations.

The first step towards acting on a fantasy is to talk about it openly. It is crucial to approach the subject with care, never imposing your choices on the other. Good communication ensures that both partners are on the same page. Expressing erotic desires strengthens intimacy and helps dismantle the taboos around male sexuality.

If you decide to take the plunge and incorporate these scenarios into your intimate life, it is essential to set clear boundaries. Here are a few key rules to follow to ensure the experience is a success:

Remember that a fantasy doesn't always need to become reality!

[1] IFOP study for the "Summer Show" on Quotidien broadcast on Friday 23 June at 11:20 pm on TF1. Sample of 2,011 people, representative of the French population aged 18 and over. Sample representativeness was ensured using the quota method (gender, age, socio-professional category) after stratification by region and urban area category. Interviews were conducted via self-administered online questionnaire (CAWI – Computer Assisted Web Interviewing) from 15 to 16 June 2017.

[2] Survey conducted for Marie-Claire from 24 to 27 May 2000, among a sample of 480 men drawn from a representative sample of the entire population aged 18 and over, interviewed face-to-face. Quota method (age, occupation of head of household PCS) and stratification by region and urban area category.

[3] IFOP study for dorcelstore.com. The survey was conducted among a representative sample of 2,012 people, representative of the metropolitan population aged 18 to 69.