February 21, 2024

Advice

Masturbation addiction: when solo pleasure becomes a compulsive need

Masturbation is perfectly natural. Practiced regularly, it's good for your health and allows you to enjoy your sexuality more fully. Not to mention the immediate well-being and relaxation that a solo session provides!

That's all well and good, but what about excessive masturbation? What can be done when it seems truly impossible to do without this solitary pleasure?

If masturbation becomes compulsive, it can then be considered masturbation addiction . This addiction can be associated with other problems, such as erectile dysfunction , and is sometimes accompanied by pornography addiction .

Does this description sound familiar? Before you panic and call emergency services, take a deep breath. Let's take a closer look at this problem, with some key insights and treatment options. Spoiler alert : masturbation addiction is primarily a psychological issue.

What is masturbation addiction?

Masturbation addiction is a very high level of dependence on solitary sexual stimulation . Onanism is considered an addiction when it is no longer just an occasional and controlled way to experience sexual pleasure, but a compulsive act.

Masturbation then occurs at an abnormal frequency , or in inappropriate contexts (hello, those slightly too long "bathroom breaks" at work). The person with the addiction seems unable to limit their need to masturbate or watch porn.

This can have an impact on different aspects of his daily life: sex life, relationship life or even professional life can be affected.

While it may be accompanied by physical problems such as erectile dysfunction , masturbation addiction is primarily psychological. This dependency is diagnosed by a therapist, such as a sexologist , and requires their support.

Here's a short introductory video on the subject for those of you who are more visually oriented.

How can I tell if I'm masturbating too much?

Before you rush off to a meeting of BA (Masturbators Anonymous), take a few moments to consider the following figures.

According to a study[1] reported by Midi Libre , men masturbate an average of 154 times a year. On a weekly basis, this equates to 2.96 times per week… And this is an average, meaning that some of those surveyed masturbate much more frequently, for example, every day! This gives you an idea of what constitutes a “normal” rhythm worldwide.

If you find yourself needing to masturbate several times an hour , for example, you might want to start asking yourself some questions. It's important to know that men have a so-called "refractory period" of about 30 minutes after ejaculatory orgasm. During this time, the body is normally unable to produce an erection. Masturbating beyond this point could indicate an addiction.

But to determine if someone suffers from a masturbation addiction, frequency isn't the only factor to consider. As some sexologists point out, there are other telltale signs, including:

A drive-based dimension to masturbation (inability to control oneself);
A feeling of unease before masturbation (stress, anxiety, sadness…) which motivates the latter;
A feeling of shame or guilt after masturbation.

In other words, if you feel that very frequent masturbation is an absolute necessity for your well-being, there might be an underlying issue. It would then be wise to consult a sex therapist for diagnosis and appropriate support.

We will return to the emotional dimension of masturbation addiction a little later in this article.

The risks of excessive masturbation

We won't discuss the myths and legends surrounding masturbation here, such as those claiming it causes deafness. Simply because, as any serious sexologist will tell you, these are myths without any real basis.

However, masturbation addiction can be linked to certain health problems, particularly in the genital area. For example, excessively prolonged compulsive masturbation can damage the corpora cavernosa of the penis . These minor traumas can eventually lead to a condition called Peyronie's disease, which manifests as a deformation of the penis.

Another potential physical problem caused by masturbation addiction is premature ejaculation . While masturbating at a "normal" pace can help combat this condition by training the body to delay ejaculation, excessive masturbation can have the opposite effect, conditioning the brain to trigger the ejaculatory reflex more quickly.

Compulsive or excessive masturbation is also often associated with erectile dysfunction . However, a clarification is necessary here: according to some sexologists, it is not masturbation itself that causes these difficulties. Rather, they are thought to stem from the psychological problems that lead to addiction, which we will discuss in more detail below.

Compulsive masturbation can also impact desire within a couple . Sexuality between partners can be affected, with, for example, a decreased libido or a wavering desire for one's partner. Here again, beyond the act of masturbation itself, it is the more "internal" dimension of this habit that must be examined to understand and resolve the problem.

Porn addiction, often associated with compulsive masturbation

Compulsive masturbation is often accompanied by another addiction: pornography addiction.

Sexy videos, images, and magazines are also becoming essential for well-being. It seems impossible to cope with the demands of daily life without consuming this type of content. Pornography, like masturbation, appears to have become indispensable.

The signs of a dependence on solitary pleasure described by many sexologists are the same as those that characterize a porn addiction . Inability to control oneself, inner turmoil before viewing, feelings of shame and/or guilt are all indicators of a potential porn addiction.

Masturbation addiction: sometimes a symptom of a deeper problem

A sign of excessive stress

Any good sexologist will tell you: an addiction to solo pleasure is much more than a "bad habit." Like any compulsive behavior, sexual or otherwise, it often has its origins in the individual's inner world.

Thus, compulsive or overly frequent masturbation can initially be linked to high levels of stress . Intense work schedules, significant responsibilities, relationship tensions, or stressful family life…

Masturbation is, in any case, an easy and quick way to release pleasure hormones in the body. These hormones instantly reduce stress and help the body relax.

So, if masturbating or watching porn has become your only way to relax after a long day, your compulsive behavior might be caused by a daily routine that demands a little too much of you.

A remedy for depression

Still within the realm of mental health, compulsive and/or overly frequent masturbation can be a sign of depression . Here again, it is the feel-good hormones released through solitary pleasure and orgasm that provide temporary relief from this psychological state.

Whatever its causes, depression is a disorder that should not be ignored and often requires professional help. It indicates that something is wrong, whether it's in the brain's chemistry or in the external environment.

Furthermore, its impacts are numerous, particularly on relationships: for example, it can affect desire, and therefore the sexual health of the couple. According to some sexologists, it is also compulsive masturbation itself that causes erectile difficulties .

If sexual pleasure is the only thing that brings you any satisfaction or joy right now, then it's important not to remain isolated. Talking to a trusted sex therapist or psychologist can be very helpful in identifying the causes of your difficulties.

The expression of an unmet need

As you might have guessed: doing yourself good without limits often has an internal origin.

Beyond stress and depression, such a habit can more generally indicate an unmet need . This need may be sexual in nature: for example, one might be frustrated in bed with their partner due to unfulfilled fantasies. Or, one might feel lonely , without a partner with whom to share intimate moments.

An addiction to solo sex can also reflect an emotional void , the need to simply feel seen, touched, and caressed by someone else. But the unmet need that masturbation compensates for can also be of a completely different nature. Thus, when masturbation is a remedy for stress, perhaps the unmet need is simply the need to relax , to have a little more time for oneself.

If it helps you cope with a depressive state, perhaps other aspects of your daily life need to be reviewed, such as the time you spend on your work versus your hobbies or those you love.

So, if you do think you are addicted, it could be that some of your desires or needs, sexual or otherwise, are not being met.

→ Read also : How to surprise a woman?

I'm addicted to masturbation, what should I do?

Consult a sexologist

Often, the roots of an addiction are deeper and more complex than we realize. Therefore, professional support may be necessary to truly understand and address the problem.

If you suspect you might be addicted to masturbation, seeking advice from a sexologist or therapist you trust may be the right solution. Over the course of sessions, they will help you identify what, both within yourself and in your environment, might be driving you to masturbate compulsively.

And remember: no one is judging you. Your therapist is there to help you. For your part, try as much as possible to be kind and patient with yourself; there's nothing wrong with you. You simply have one (or more) unmet needs.

If you cannot afford to consult a professional, confide in a trusted person such as a close friend, with whom sexuality is not a taboo.

Another economical method: write down your experiences and feelings in a journal. Putting your thoughts on paper can indeed help you understand why you're addicted. In your journal, talk about how you feel before, during, and after your alone time. Then, consider the possible unmet need behind this habit and write down potential answers.

Address the root causes

Stress

If working with a sex therapist or through your own self-reflection helps you understand the causes of your addiction, you're on the right track. The next step will be to address the problem by changing what in your life drives you to masturbate compulsively .

So, if you realize that this habit is caused by excessive stress, ask yourself what actions you could take to reduce it. For example, could you set more boundaries at work? Or express your need to de-stress to your loved ones?

Relationship dissatisfaction

If your " manual reflex " stems from a troubled relationship or unmet sexual needs, there's only one solution: communication. Unless your partner is Charles Xavier from the X-Men, they're not a mind reader. So, verbally telling them what's missing in your relationship, whether in bed or in everyday life, is essential to turning things around.

Widespread dissatisfaction

Have you just realized that masturbating is a way to cope with a daily life that weighs you down or doesn't suit you? First of all, congratulations: this kind of realization is really not easy. Secondly, it's important to approach the problem step by step.

What changes (even minor ones) could you make right here and now that might help you feel better? For example, spending a little more time with the people you love? Going for a walk in nature? Doing a crossword puzzle or playing Mario Kart with your friends? Finally starting that creative project you've been wanting to do for so long?

Only you can determine what will make you happier. And remember: any significant change requires time and investment. Be patient, first with the process, but also and especially with yourself.

Change of method

What if your compulsive masturbation was simply a matter of technique? Perhaps you don't find complete satisfaction in your moments of solitary pleasure, which leads you to repeat the act tirelessly…

Before embarking on a long and difficult withdrawal, a simple change of approach might be enough to treat your addiction. Focusing on quality rather than quantity will help you truly enjoy these moments of self-love, leading to greater sexual satisfaction.

One solution: the use of specialized sex toys

Using a sex toy such as a vaginal sleeve can help break with impulsive behaviors by introducing a more thoughtful and intentional process.

Why? Using a vaginal masturbator involves a preliminary ritual: preparing the toy, applying lubricant, getting aroused, and pleasuring oneself until one can no longer hold back… Then putting it away and cleaning it. By adopting these small habits, the individual finds themselves in a dynamic that is the opposite of impulsiveness, but rather requires conscious and deliberate preparation.

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Now take the time to discover our male sex toys .

The Pure or Nomad masturbation sleeve, for example, will enhance your masturbation session with its air suction system. Furthermore, each back-and-forth movement creates a natural warming effect, making the solo pleasure experience even more intense.

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Masturbation addiction: our advice