21 January 2026

Guide

Choosing your first sex toy: buying guide and methods for beginners 💪

Discovering new sensations, building confidence or simply bringing fresh energy to your intimate life — solo or as a couple: the first sex toy has never been more accessible. Yet many men still hold back, due to a lack of clear information, reliable guidance, or simply the weight of taboo.

This ONY guide is for you: to give you the right habits, remove the barriers and lay the foundations for a successful first experience, backed by expert guidance.

Why take the plunge with your first sex toy? 🌟

In 2017, 48% of French people reported having already used a sex toy at some point in their lives, according to an IFOP study [1]. That figure was just 7% in 1992… The media speak of a spectacular boom — attitudes are shifting and habits are evolving! What about you — are you tempted?

Stepping into the world of first sex toys is above all about listening to your curiosity and daring to explore what masturbation and pleasure can offer that's different: new sensations, the discovery of new erogenous zones, a deeper knowledge of yourself… The benefits are as varied as they are personal.

Investing in your first sex toy purchase also means challenging the clichés, owning your desires and granting yourself a genuine moment for yourself, away from the gaze of others or the pressure to perform. Far more than a simple accessory, a well-chosen sex toy becomes an ally for wellbeing and fulfilment — whether to boost solo pleasure or bring a playful, intimate touch to your relationship.

In short, daring to try your first sex toy means putting your pleasure at the heart of your intimate life. The key? Taking the time to understand your desires and needs, and above all moving at your own pace, without any hang-ups. So, ready to rewrite your story of pleasure?

Understanding your desires to better satisfy them

Choosing your first sex toy is above all an inner journey. Before taking the leap, take the time to reflect on what truly appeals to you, without filters or judgement. Here, everything begins with listening to your desires and respecting your own pace.

Overcoming your apprehensions and listening to your true desires

Putting the topic of sex toys on the table, without embarrassment or hesitation, is already a giant step towards greater freedom and fulfilment. Many men feel a slight apprehension at first: fear of being judged, of stepping outside the norm, or of undermining their masculinity. No need to worry — these feelings are common and entirely human. They shouldn't stand in the way of the desire for novelty and pleasure.

Dare to go all the way with your desires, beyond the clichés.

Choosing your first sex toy means opening yourself up to new sources of pleasure and getting to know yourself better, without pressure. This uninhibited approach can transform your view of masturbation, boost your confidence and even nurture intimacy with your partner.

Ask yourself honestly: what sensations appeal to you? The softness of silicone, the discretion of a clean design, the idea of something small and compact? Asking yourself these questions is the key to choosing something that feels right for you and genuinely enhances your everyday life.

Defining your expectations: solo pleasure, exploration or intimacy as a couple?

Clarify your goals before choosing your first sex toy: are you looking to intensify solo pleasure? To reignite desire as a couple? To try something new or simply satisfy your curiosity? This reflection will point you towards the ideal model.

If you're after personal pleasure, go for manual masturbators or accessories specifically designed for penile stimulation.
For play as a couple, go for sex toys designed for sharing and intimacy: vibrating rings, connected stimulators with a remote control, and all kinds of accessories to enjoy together — there's plenty to choose from!

Identify clearly what motivates you and experience this first purchase as a moment of self-fulfilment: free from hang-ups and in tune with your desires. That's how you take the first step towards a more confident, richer and unrestricted intimate life.

The main types of sex toys for beginners

Opening the door to pleasure with your first sex toy means embracing a world as rich as it is stimulating. Before diving in, it's worth knowing what to expect: each category of sex toy offers different sensations and uses. Let's take a friendly, open-minded look at the options best suited to beginners.

→ Read also: 10 reasons to talk about sex with friends

Men's sex toys: pocket stroker, automatic masturbator, p-spot massager — find your match

For a first sex toy purchase for men, most choose the manual masturbator, more commonly known as a pocket stroker. This sex toy faithfully recreates the sensation of penetration, offering an enveloping and ultra-realistic experience. Modern models, such as the Nomad or Pure strokers by ONY, combine ergonomics, softness and discretion — perfect for discovering pleasure in complete serenity.

Ready to take things up a notch? Automatic masturbators take the experience to a whole new dimension. With automated internal movements and varied stimulation, they deliver sensations unlike anything else and let you focus entirely on discovering pleasure — hands-free, with no constraints. The Exa One by ONY is the perfect embodiment of this new wave of male sex toys.

For those who want to awaken new erogenous zones, the p-spot massager (prostate stimulator) opens the door to prostate orgasm. This sex toy targets the prostate — a source of powerful sensations that often go undiscovered. The Explo stimulator by ONY, for example, combines vibrations and targeted oscillations to guide the curious, without taboo, towards a richer intimate life.

The choice of your first male sex toy therefore depends on your curiosity, your comfort level and what you want to feel: softness, realism, experimentation or intensity? Always prioritise soft materials, impeccable hygiene and a functional design for a healthy, comfortable and long-lasting experience.

Couples' sex toys: cockring, connected toys and more

Shared pleasure takes on a whole new dimension with couples' sex toys. The penis ring (or cockring) is a trusted classic: it prolongs erection, intensifies sensations and can bring pleasure to both partners. The Pulse One by ONY, with its remote control, combines support, targeted stimulation and ease of use — perfect for those who want to boost intimacy without any pressure.

The world of couples' sex toys doesn't stop there. Among the must-haves: vibrating stimulators to use together, connected accessories controlled remotely to tease desire, and gels that heighten sensuality. These products are here to support you in exploring, communicating and enriching your intimate life, all while keeping a playful spirit.

What matters is testing without inhibition whatever sparks your curiosity: exploring together, talking openly, surprising each other… That's the recipe for a fulfilled, close and boundlessly free couple.

Product focus: discovering Nomad and Pure, the elegant strokers for the modern man

Elegant, discreet and ultra-realistic: the Nomad stroker by ONY was designed for every man who wants to transform his intimate life without compromise. With its premium materials, compact format and effortless maintenance, Nomad is easy to use at home, while travelling, or wherever you please. It's the perfect companion for a first experience that's 100% pleasure, without ever sacrificing discretion or style.

Pure, the new personalised pleasure experience

ONY goes even further with Pure, the premium stroker designed for those who want to vary their pleasures with effortless simplicity. Featuring three interchangeable sleeves for tailor-made sensations, it adapts to every desire — beginners included. Pure is the promise of a bespoke experience, with an elegant and discreet design that fits naturally into your everyday life.

The essential criteria for choosing your first pleasure companion

Investing in your first sex toy means treating yourself to a moment that's entirely your own, free from taboo or compromise. To make the most of this new adventure and give yourself every chance of success, it's essential to consider a few key criteria that separate a mere gadget from a true pleasure companion. Here's what to look out for to make an informed choice.

Materials and hygiene: the details that make all the difference

The material of your first sex toy plays a crucial role: it influences the sensation, the safety and even how easy it is to maintain. Go for premium, hypoallergenic materials such as medical-grade silicone, TPE (thermoplastic elastomer) or certain polymers tested for intimate use. These materials offer a soft feel and prevent irritation.

When it comes to hygiene, make no compromises: easy maintenance extends the lifespan of the accessory and protects your health. Avoid sex toys made from porous materials and go for ones that can be rinsed under water and cleaned with a dedicated gentle solution. ONY models, for example, are designed to be rinsed effortlessly thanks to their optimal waterproofing.

A few simple rules for impeccable hygiene:

Using a water-based lubricant

Always use a water-based lubricant: it respects the material, prevents wear and optimises sensations.

Drying your toy thoroughly

Dry your sex toy thoroughly before storing it, to prevent the build-up of bacteria.

Adopting these habits means turning your discovery into a healthy, reassuring routine… And a genuinely enjoyable one.

Your sex toy should give you confidence, not add unnecessary anxiety

Power, ergonomics and discretion: your allies for a successful experience

For a first try, keep it simple above all else. A good sex toy should be easy to pick up and adapt naturally to your movements — just like pocket strokers, for example.

Ergonomics make all the difference: choose an accessory that's well thought-out, lightweight and comfortable to handle, with no awkward edges. An elegant, compact, discreet and quiet design will let you enjoy it in complete peace — and even travel with it without a second thought.

Your sex toy should give you confidence, not add unnecessary anxiety: smooth handling, guaranteed discretion… Pleasure stays in your hands, wherever and whenever you choose.

Size, format and ease of use: start gently

There's no need to go for the most extreme option straight away. A sex toy with a moderate size — compact yet realistic — will be perfectly suited to a first experience. The priority? Simplicity: keep it straightforward, with a device that's easy to get started with and clear instructions.

To get started with confidence:

The right size

Choose an ergonomic model that is neither too bulky nor too complicated to handle.

A sleeve entry sized for you

Opt for a flexible opening that adapts to your body: personalisation is the key to comfort.

Practicality: the watchword

Think about everyday practicality: is it easy to disassemble and clean? Does it come with a pouch or a cap so you can take it anywhere?

The first time should be all about pleasure, freedom and zero pressure. Go at your own pace, explore calmly, and keep in mind that the best pleasure is the one you give yourself naturally.

→ Read also: How to turn a woman on?

Expert tips for a memorable first experience: the key steps

Starting out with your first sex toy is above all about learning to prioritise your wellbeing and allowing yourself pleasure, without judgement or pressure. To make this adventure a true moment of discovery, here are the methods that make the difference — approved by sexuality professionals — whether you're on your own or with a partner.

Our tips for relaxing and exploring without pressure

The first golden rule: focus on relaxation, not performance. Set aside an uninterrupted slot of time in a space where you truly feel at ease. Create a calming environment: soft lighting, relaxing music, comfortable clothing… Taking the time to settle in makes all the difference.

Don't try to "get it right" straight away. Forget about the outcome — curiosity is your greatest ally. Pick up the sex toy, gently graze your sensitive areas without rushing. This gradual pace helps you let go — and, more often than not, that's exactly when the best sensations emerge.

Remember: every sensation is a win. Be kind to yourself — don't fixate on reaching orgasm the very first time. Pleasure, like any positive learning journey, builds gradually and grows richer with every session.

Lubricant and foreplay: your best pleasure allies

No conversation about a first sex toy is complete without mentioning water-based lubricant: it guarantees smoothness, safety and optimised sensations with all sex toys — particularly those that closely simulate skin contact, like a pocket stroker or a manual masturbator. Apply it generously to the accessory and to the area being stimulated: more comfort, no friction and pleasure multiplied.

Don't skip the foreplay — even when you're on your own! Caressing your thighs, your pubic area, or gently stimulating the testicles increases arousal and deepens the experience. Taking the time to explore your body is also how you stumble upon unexpected pleasure zones… And savour a far more intense pleasure.

Sexologist-approved techniques: breathe, strengthen, last longer

Building good habits also means trying a few simple techniques validated by pleasure experts. Control your breathing: inhale deeply, exhale slowly. Your body relaxes, your mind opens up to new sensations.

Then try Kegel exercises: contract and release the perineum several times, before and during your session. Strengthening this muscle improves sensitivity and delays arousal, so you can enjoy things for longer and feel more intensely.

Finally, try edging: bring yourself to the brink, slow down or stop just before ejaculation, then start again. This back-and-forth between anticipation and release elevates the final orgasm and builds self-confidence, all while making the sex toy an exciting space for experimentation… With absolutely no pressure.

Take your time, stay curious, enjoy yourself: each experience will bring you a little closer to your desires and refine your pleasure. Trying your first sex toy means creating a new self-care ritual — 100% uninhibited and connected to your true desires.

Caring for and looking after your intimate companion

To keep your sex toy in perfect condition and maintain impeccable hygiene, regular care is essential. After each use, clean it thoroughly with a mild soap or a suitable product such as a sex toy cleaning foam, then rinse it with warm water. Leave it to air dry or use a clean towel, before storing it in its pouch away from light and moisture. This simple routine ensures both discretion and the longevity of your accessory.

A few habits to adopt:

Condition of the sex toy

Quickly check the condition of the sex toy before use: no cracks or tears.

Water-based lubricant

Only use water-based lubricants that are compatible with its material, to avoid any risk of damage.

Sex toy cleaning foam

Remember to clean it with a suitable product such as a sex toy cleaning foam, for instance, to ensure optimal hygiene.

A well-maintained sex toy means longer-lasting pleasure, preserved sensations and complete peace of mind during every session. Each time you care for it, you're also respecting yourself and enhancing your satisfaction with every use.

What to take away: dive into this wonderful discovery without any hang-ups

Daring to try your first sex toy is above all about giving yourself real time for yourself, free from judgement or outside pressure. Trust yourself: choose a model suited to your desires, follow your intuition and respect your own pace. There is no universal instruction manual here — what matters is listening to your body, your sensations, and letting your desires guide you, without imposing any constraints on yourself.

With this first sex toy guide, you now have all the keys to turn this experience into a true boost of pleasure, confidence and fulfilment. Stay curious, welcome every discovery with an open mind, and remember: pleasure isn't a race. Enjoy every step, little by little, and celebrate this new journey into the heart of your intimacy.

FAQ: everything you need to know to get started with a sex toy

How to choose your first sex toy?

For a first time, go for a manual masturbator. Discreet, easy to use and delivering natural sensations, it's a safe choice for exploring without any inhibitions. Opt for a well-designed model that's gentle against the skin and takes seconds to clean — like the Nomad stroker by ONY. Start by identifying what you truly want: solo pleasure, targeted discovery, or why not, an adventure for two? A well-chosen sex toy, tailored to your needs, will quickly build your confidence and help you unlock your full pleasure potential.

What materials should be avoided?

Steer well clear of sex toys made from plastisol gel, low-grade rubber or questionable PVC. Their porous surface traps germs and impurities, making them quickly unusable and sometimes risky. Play it safe: go for silicone, TPE or other body-safe, soft and approved materials. A quick tip: avoid any accessory with a strong smell or sticky texture — these are often signs of poor quality. Always check the product description!

Which sex toy to choose for a couple's first time?

To enrich your time together, go for trusted options: a vibrating penis ring, an external stimulator, or a connected sex toy with a remote control. These accessories fit naturally into the intimacy of a couple, encourage communication and stimulate each partner at their own pace. Opt for a discreet yet effective model offering several intensities: your duo will easily find its perfect rhythm.

Which lubricant should I use with my sex toy?

The golden rule: water-based lubricant only. It works with all sex toys, respects their materials, and guarantees optimal comfort with no risk of irritation. Leave oil-based or silicone versions aside — they wear out your accessories prematurely and make cleaning a hassle. Using the right lubricant means more pleasure, greater smoothness and a longer lifespan for your sex toy: make it a staple from your very first sex toy purchase.

How do I care for my first sex toy?

After each use, rinse your sex toy under warm water with a mild soap or a suitable intimate cleanser. Dry it thoroughly before storing it in its pouch or case to keep it away from dust and prying eyes. Avoid harsh or abrasive products, and inspect the accessory regularly. A well-cared-for sex toy means worry-free pleasure for years to come.

The editorial team

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[1] Source: IFOP study from 2016 for Dorcelstore.com. The survey was conducted on a representative sample of 2,012 people, representative of the metropolitan population aged 18 to 69.

How to choose your first sex toy? Usage guide (2026)